Have you ever wondered?

Try to picture this as you read it....

"I have seen a place in heaven, a corridor that is lit up by thousands of small flickering, flame like lights which represent a child that is to be born into this world. As the Lord walks through this corridor, a voice whispers,"they are ready to conceive". The Lord then proceeds to walk through the corridor and stops in front of the brightest flickering light there. He gently picks up the light with His own hand and He tells the voice, "send them this one". The Lord, God, hand selected this light to be born a child into this world. The light which has been chosen to now be their child has everything he will ever need to successfully accomplish his destiny already grafted into his spirit. The parents' job now is to help develop these talents and gifts in order to ensure his success. "

Picturing this in my mind, and realizing that God has a say in everything that happens to us, including how many children we will have. What sex they will be, and any other personalities, talents, gifts, "quirks", that they might have....realizing this, puts me in a state of awe and gratitude for the life handed to me. I have 8 children. So if you think about it, God hand selected each one of my kids, not just one or two, but 8! Some of them in twos and threes, and gave them to my husband and I to love and raise. It was not by some fluke that my ovaries spit out several eggs at a time, it was in the plan all along!

I often get down on myself because Kirsten is autistic and Hannah has a shunt and epilepsy, and Sophia has a shunt, and Jo-jo is slow to speak, and Hunter was born with microcia.....blah blah blah....God hand picked each one of them. He knew what issues they would have. He knew I could handle it and that I would love them just the same. He knew I would never give up on them or give them away because they weren't "perfect". Personally, I think God did this for me. You ever want a lesson in patience, deal with autism. You ever want to know how strong your faith really is, have a 3 week old baby go through brain surgery, then have another one do the same thing 2 years later. Or watch her have a 40 minute grand mal seizure as you watch and wait helplessly and hope for no permanent damage to be done. You ever want a lesson in slowing down, see how long it takes you to figure out what "uh" and a pointed finger means. Ever want a lesson on unconditional love, have a child born with a deformity and have people point and make comments without getting angry or embarrassed.

I never ask,"why did this happen to my child".... I always try to remember to ask, "what am I supposed to learn from this?" The more I learn, the better mom I can be, and the happier life I can give them. These are my goals. I m not perfect, but my children don't know that yet!

So I guess what I'm saying is, if we really step back and look at whatever issues our child may have that we deal with everyday....there's a reason for it. It's not a "punishment" and it doesn't have to be a "burden"....they are blessings just the way they are! They were chosen for us, and we were chosen for them.